Battle of the sexes: A case for femininity

Just like we did with masculinity, we will first start by investigating the root of the word femininity. The word originates fēminīnus, from fēmina (“woman”) from Proto-Indo-European *dʰeh-m̥hn-eh (“(the one) nursing, breastfeeding. Interestingly enough, the word female and male were not originally linked etymologically.

What is a woman? The word woman has been defined in many ways but the best way i have heard it defined is; “The sex that gives up the most in the process/problem of reproduction..” The argument is that in the relationship between sperm and egg, the egg commits much, much more resources (nutrients) than the sperm and this is echoed in all aspects of the dichotomy between the two sexes where the woman carries a higher risk in the process of reproduction. However you look at it, as a privilege or problem, it’s up to you.

Personally, i see it as a privilege. Does this mean that i see women as Divine for having this privilege? Absolutely not! I am no goddess and neither are you dear fellow Human women. We have the responsibility to create and nurture, and it is for this reason that we are endowed with beautiful physical features, higher emotional sensitivity, and arguably higher intuition. This is what makes for femininity.

Now, i can’t talk about femininity and not mention feminism which to me is among the most successfully crafted lies sold to women, mostly, but men too. It is the belief in social, economic and political equality of the sexes. Not to be misunderstood; I’m a woman, and i obviously believe men and women are of equal value. Equal opportunity is a noble ideal and i think we should strive towards that. But, expecting equal outcomes is ‘utopic’ to me. I mean even when we consider same sex, say among men, do we really observe equal outcome when given the same opportunity? Why should we delude ourselves to thinking we can get equality across the different sexes. I should also like to note that I’m aware that there are many women today earning more than men (here using income as the outcome). The point is we are individuals endowed differently and different factors are involved; sex or not.

It’s my deduction that feminism gave rise to the ‘sexual freedom’ movement, which is nonsense as sex always has a cost but i digress. It bore the over-sexualization of women and selling of selves short, pun intended. All the while crying foul. We lost our confidence in our natural beauty and purpose, our intuition, grace and peace along with it; which is the essence of femininity. And i strongly think this is where men have a quarrel with us. But hey men, I stand to be corrected. I did peer into studies to find what men have against women in general and my conclusion is valid. That and communication between the two sexes.

In the book Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus: When the martians finally discovered the Venusians via their telescopes, feelings they never knew they had were awakened. They fell in love and quickly invented space travel and flew to Venus. The Venusians welcomed them with open arms as they intuitively knew this day would come. Their hearts opened wide to a love they never felt before. It was magical until…(read the book to find out more). What John Gray is saying is that we were made for each other like a lock and key. In this book he explores our world of difference from a brilliant perspective; and why on Earth we are at ‘war’.

I truly love being a woman. I hope my fellow women do too. Men should love being men too. This Earth would be a better place if we understand that men and women are not in a competition. A lock is useless without the key and vice versa. There’s this blaming culture we have adopted: I often hear people say men are…women are… and i think, “look in the mirror dude, do you really think all men/women are the problem and you’re somehow the exception: what are the odds?” I mean, i don’t want to carry the sins of half the human specimen, do you? How could i or you? Let’s all take personal responsibility and accountability.

Did we sacrifice femininity at the altar of feminism?

If you’re out with a guy or girl and they are just “let’s get it on”…one night stand, there’s no more reliable marker of his /her untamable, primordial, malevolent, beastliness than that. There’s no debate on that.”

-J B Peterson.