The path to Womanhood: Exploring feminine archetypes and their shadows

Queen, Sage, Lover, Mother

We previously looked at the masculine side. Today we’ll dive deep into the feminine.

First, I’d like to say, even as a female human, female psychology is more complex than I thought. Here, I’ll continue to use Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette‘s work as my map for the sake of consistency but integrate proposed ‘counterpart archetypes’ based on other research works. I found Jean Shinoda’s work in “Goddess in every woman” very interesting and although I chose not to use the goddesses -Greek mythology- as female archetypes as used in the book; and others that followed because, I think there’s a danger in that women may try to identify themselves with the specific goddesses, I do say, you should check it out.

Immature Feminine Archetypes and their Mature counterpart when nurtured well: Girl into Woman Archetypes

• Divine child who matures into the Queen
• Precocious maiden who matures into the Sage/Wise woman
• Oedipal child who matures into the Lover
• Caregiver who matures into the Mother

i)

The Queen/Ruler

The core of all archetypes: She’s the natural leader; ambitious, outgoing and confident. She understands her worth and values; values loyalty and commitment; protects her kingdom; she’s responsible for order and making decisions for the sake of others; she’s driven and quite successful; in part because she surrounds herself with powerful alliances and experts. Her shadow side shows up as the Tyrant or the Weakling featuring controlling behaviour and jealousy when feeling threatened or insecure.

The Divine Child

Just as the king is not born as a king, the queen also starts as a Divine Child i.e., the all powerful, but fragile infant who if not nurtured well, can turn to a High-chair Tyrant or a Weakling Princess. The divine child represents the promise of renewal, growth and potential. She is also characterised by purity, creativity, intuition, optimism, and healing, with the potential to transform those around her. An example would be Alice in wonderland. On the other side, the divine child may portray naivety, emotional dependency, escapism, narcissism, and end up with unrealised potential like Peter Pan (Wendy).

Note: Please look closely into the King and Divine Child archetype in the ‘Boy versus Man Masculinity’ as the feminine counterpart (Divine child and Queen) is a mirror of male version.

ii)

The Precocious Maiden

This is a young female figure who when nurtured properly, embodies innocence, playfulness, curiosity, intuition, and insight beyond her years; an innate kind of wisdom, which is often depicted in her creativity and imagination. She has the biggest potential for growth and is an idealist who has yet to turn her dreams into reality. Her blossoming will happen after facing darkness. In mythology, she’s the muse/young prophetess/magical girl who guides others in their transformation. Compared to the male precocious child, she is more connected to the spiritual, emotional and creative side.

Her shadow side shows up as the damsel/victim or the Vixen. The Victim hasn’t yet found her strength; she’s passive and naïve. Helpless even: Always depends on others to solve her problems and give her direction. Afraid of responsibility. The Damsel on the other hand, is active; prioritizes appearances, manipulates using charm and seduction, is immature and concerned with external, superficial validation over deeper self-awareness and authenticity.

The Sage/ Wise woman/Crone

Note that the precocious maiden goes through the ‘intermediate’ seeker archetype before fully maturing into the sage.

She’s the most rational of the archetypes; moves by logic and strategy. With discipline, she pursues self-development, and is not afraid of letting go of the past self that no longer serves her. She looks inward into the mysteries of self, is a healer with knowledge about the earth as she’s always close to it. The sage understands the mysteries of the body, especially the female body; reproduction and fertility. She’s wise due to her seeking knowledge, and because of this, she is sort after and valued by those around her. The sage is not young but mature and rooted, possibly elderly: Transcends sexuality and reproduction, sometimes, she may even have been a lover.

The active shadow side is the Witch/Manipulator who uses her knowledge and wisdom to manipulate, dominate others, and for personal gain. Sees herself as morally and intellectually superior to others. She’s arrogant, cold (emotionally detached), cynical and judgemental. Emotional concern and vulnerability is weakness to her. The Fool is the Sage’s passive side who hides and shies away from helping or sharing her knowledge. She sees the world as hopeless and so chooses to hide instead of guiding others even when she has the ability to. Feels invisible, unheard, and unappreciated, therefore she harbours wrath and bitterness towards the world, believing her insight serves no purpose or impact. She is filled with self-doubt because she questions her knowledge and wisdom, which stops her from learning, growing, and sharing.

iii)

Oedipal Child or Electra

Electra desires the validation, attention, and love of the father figure. She idolizes and idealizes the masculine; seeing ‘the father’ as a source of protection, validation and identity. In her balanced state, she’s full of life, confidence, curiosity, and is very open to exploring her identity and relationships with the masculine. When not nurtured properly, the shadow side may dominate and become the Seducer/Rebellious daughter or Daddy’s girl.

The Rebellious Daughter, is the active shadow. She idolizes and idealizes ‘the father’; and fantasizes marrying him. This may lead to unhealthy attachments, dependency and ‘rescuing’ relationships. She becomes dominative, manipulative or seductive in attempt to get attention, validation or control in relationships with the masculine. She’s also jealous, competitive and emotionally chaotic in addition to being rebellious against authority which overcompensates for dependency. Is hostile, defiant and constantly needs to prove superiority. The opposite shadow is the passive Daddy’s Girl who is emotionally dependent on the masculine and needs ‘his’ validation. This leads to helplessness, insecurity, or stunted individuation. She idealizes ‘the father’ as the perfect protector/saviour, so, is always disillusioned by the ‘real human’ man. She’s overly-dependent, emotional and psychologically leans on men to feel safe, loved and worthy. She cannot find her identity outside relationships: Is insecure and powerless. She fears rejection and abandonment, and ironically, she abandons her own desires, needs and individuality at the same altar, trying to appease ‘him’.

The Lover

The alchemist of love: She is full of life and is an abundant source of inspiration and creativity. She embodies sensuality and sexuality as well as fertility of nature. She follows her emotions and desires. People are drawn to her magnetically. She dislikes the cold order and sterile knowledge. She wants to remain boundless. Nothing is, without love and compassion.

Without proper nurturing, she will turn to her shadow poles and become either the Seductive lover or the Frigid lover. The active Seductive Lover manipulates the power of attraction for control, and to hide insecurity. She may also fake vulnerability to manipulate; she constantly seeks attention via flirting, seduction or conquest; avoids deep intimacy as she fears vulnerability/rejection; and jumps from one unfulfilled- toxic- connection to another leaving a trail of emotionally hurt partners as she seeks superficial allure and not growth. The Frigid Lover or the nun or the ice queen on the passive end, is disconnected from her sensuality, creativity, and capacity for emotional intimacy. This shadow arises from fear, repression or trauma, resulting in emotional or physical withdrawal. She denies and represses the desire for love, connection or pleasure. This is how she gains control over herself and others. Sensuality and sexuality are seen as sinful, unworthy or dangerous and leading to shame and discomfort with her body, hence ignores that part of herself.

iv)

Maiden -Caregiver

Think of Cinderella: She’s innocent, curious, open to understanding the world and relationships; playful and creative; is able to dream and create without the responsibilities of nurturing; plus is full of energy, hope and potential. She shows signs of caregiving like tenderness and gentle care for others (including emotional nurturing) but without depth and experience of the mother. This is often visible in play with dolls, pets or siblings.

Unnatured, the shadow side may take control through the overbearing caregiver or the self-absorbed/neglectful maiden. The Overbearing Caregiver ‘smothers’ by controlling and over-exerting herself in other peoples’ lives even before the maturity of true motherly wisdom is attained. She’s insecure and fears abandonment or inadequacy and irrelevance. The Neglectful Maiden, on the opposite side lacks interest in and shows indifference for nurturing; cannot take on emotional labour associated with caregiving; she neglects relational duties; may engage in escapism and self-indulgence; All this because she fears losing personal freedom and innocence/youthfulness so resists the demand of caregiving or maturity.

The Mother

With or without children, she is the life-giver. With warmth and loving energy, she nurtures all around her and gains satisfaction doing so. She sustains humanity; devoted, she creates, compassionately cares and protects. She’s wise and experienced. All around her people thrive. Someone said, the highest compliment you can give The Queen is that she’s a mother to her kingdom. In her fullness, she understands unconditional love.

When the shadow side takes charge, she becomes the Devouring Mother who (closely associated to the warrior archetype) overwhelms and consumes the individuality of those in her care, often out of a desire to maintain control or fulfil her own unmet emotional needs; fearing abandonment or irrelevance. She overextends herself to prove her worth as a caregiver/mother and ends up creating a suffocating environment for those under her care by stamping over personal boundaries, and stifling their growth and independence. She may also become the Careless Mother who is neglectful; abandons her nurturing responsibilities; often puts her needs before those under her care; and is emotionally detached (narcissistic). Her fear is loss of autonomy and individuality. Winds up creating feelings of abandonment or insecurity in others.

Please remember that these are archetypes; universal and cultural. Many apply to both men and women but this post is of the feminine side. Like I said, in the previous post, about the masculine side (attached ⬇️⬇️⬇️), archetypes do not necessarily represent linear stages in development but rather, they should be seen as showing up in all stages of a man or woman’s life.

Thank you so much for reading. I do hope you enjoyed the read, and that the information presented in both posts will help you in your journey of self-development as it surely has helped me.

If you know more about the topic, kindly share with us in the discussion and I stand to be corrected if I misrepresented any info here.

Boy versus Man Masculinity